thefrozenstorm | (no subject)

(no subject)

...When in the world did something like that become important to me, anyway? I have better things to focus on, than that. Especially after...

...Hm. Pathetic. I'm just pathetic. Truly... Hm.

...I should work on that deck, more. Distract me from this... Nonsense.

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You shouldn't disregard what naturally becomes important to you as time passes. Never worked in my experiences.

...I probably shouldn't... Hm. But maybe he's just right.

Doesn't matter either way. It just shows that I am pathetic, regardless of it.

Heyyyy - what did I say about not hurting yourself? That also goes for self-verbal degradation...if that's even a word.

It is, for the record.

I'm not allowed to be brutally honest to myself, then? Hm, fine. I'll try to lie instead, every now and then, Sora.

If being brutally honest means being overly critical of your flaws to the point where it ruins your self-worth, then yes, lie like Pinoccho. .___.

...Hm. Fine, I will, when you put it like that.

Good.

... And what in the world did he say to make you feel like this anyhow?

That I'm scared of something that I probably shouldn't have even worried myself over in the first place, due to the large risk I took with my own sanity by allowing myself to care in regards to it.

The vagueness of that statement is overwhelming, but I'll respect your privacy. Oh, wait, but -

...

Please don't tell me this has to do with those damned penalties again. It is something else right?

...It's something else. Not those penalties. Those penalties are-- were a different matter.

...Though, if you want to know, just check Saiou's last post. My reading's on there, and it wasn't filtered.

...

...mmkay.

Let's hold off the gloom-and-doom motif for a sec and take a rain check here.

As much as I respect Saiou-san and his fortune-telling abilities, I swear the guy has this perverse thing for overexerting certain details - especially the negative ones.

'm not saying he's not right on some accounts; but taking every last one of his words to heart is the same as hanging yourself with a belt.

I know.

That's why I'm not worried about the parts that I know aren't true.

Good, we're on the same page then. And you think the parts that are true are...?

Wait, Kanna-san?

...

As I said before, I'm pathetic to even be worrying over this.

...

...

Wait, no, no...

I take that all back. I can't believe I was so insensitive before -

I ... ... bara...

... Kanna-san.

Is it that you're worried that you won't find someone else after her ... or is it that you're still in love with her?

...I still love her. I know that quite well. But I'm out of her life. I haven't even seen her since... Then. I haven't been able to find her. For all I know, she took another chance to transfer out, and she succeeded, this time.

...But even getting attached to her was already enough of a risk for me. Why would I try to repeat the same incident?

I see. And I think that's probably the best case scenario because I haven't seen her for a while either.

Although ... You don't have to, you know. Nobody's forcing you to do anything; we're just here to look out for you, to give you suggestions.

... still, it would be nice if you would open up again. Life is full of making mistakes, getting hurt, and learning from them ... and what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger in the end.

But - of course - like I said before, that's entirely up to you, bara.

...... Hm. And that, of course, is where it just gets confusing for me.

... I do appreciate the fact that you're even talking to me, though. Just... So you're aware.

Hahaha...I'm not surprised, honestly. You get confused on the topic of a lot of things, actually. But that’s okay, we’re kids that are just learning how the world works after all.

And...thank you. That means a lot to me. I've always thought of you as a good friend.

...Hm. You're welcome.

Hahaha well ... hmm. Now that I've known for a while, may I call you just, well, just Seku?

...You were allowed to already, but... If you need permission, then yes, you're allowed to just call me "Seku".

Well, seeing as I'm so accustomed to it ending like this: if you're ever feeling bad about this again just remember Saiou's last prediction - and some other time, alright Seku?

...Alright, Sora.

All you need is love~

...It's only expected that the first thought I had was to murder you, at that.

And no, I don't.

It's not your fault the relationship failed.

... That doesn't really matter, at this point. My fault. Her fault... It doesn't matter.

So don't beat yourself up.

Or I'm going to have to take you drinking again.

That doesn't work, anyway.

It doesn't have to. You just have to get piss drunk.

The last times I've drank, as far as I know, I didn't even reach a state of intoxication.

Piyy.

... Hm. How is it a pity?

You seem the sort who needs less pain.

... Probably. Not that I'd generally deserve to have things go better, in regards to my life, but...

... Hm. There are better ways to dull pain, than to try to force myself to become intoxicated.

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